I betcha French Stewart would be a good neighbor
if he ever moved into the house next door.
He'd lend you his tools or a whole bag of sugar
and bring you treats back from his trip to the store.
Keep his TV and music at reasonable volumes
clean driveway and sidewalks and manicured lawn.
He'd keep his nose out of your private business
and look after your pets whenever you're gone.
He'd bring covered dishes to community potlucks
from his Grandma's recipes, masterfully prepared
handed down from each generation
Stewart family "secrets" he's willing to share.
At Christmas time, of course, he'd play Santa
because, after all, he's an actor by trade.
From "3rd Rock From the Sun" to "Home Alone 3"
he's been a sensation in each part he's played.
He's such a good actor he steals every show
why, he could be EVIL, and we'd never know.
A twinkle in his eye and winning smile could hide
that his heart's shriveled up and rotten inside.
He could have dark secret motives, I guess...
... but I STILL think, he'd be a good neighbor nonetheless.